I Have Been Changed For The Better
by foreverchasingthedream
Summary: "I've heard it said, that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn and we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them and we help them in return." As Carla is leaving she looks back over her friendship with Michelle.
**Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews, they are very much appreciated! If there are any pairings/songs you would like me to write please let me know and I'll give them a go. Hope you enjoy... :)**

 _I'm limited_  
 _And just look at you you can do all I couldn't do_

Chelle. I have so much to thank you for, so much that I owe to you, so much I want to say to you but so little courage to tell you.

Pathetic really that I don't have to courage just to say 'thank you' Two very simple words but two words that could never express the depth behind them.

 _I've heard it said_  
 _That people come into our lives for a reason_  
 _Bringing something we must learn_

I remember the first day I saw you hanging around at school. You were one of the good kids, always staying out of bother, never in with the wrong crowd. I remember the look on your face when I walked through your front door on Paul's arm.

I never liked you back then. I didn't like you because I was jealous. You had everything that I didn't; two parents, decent house, food in your cupboards, two big brothers to look out for you, you had talent and the opportunity to escape, to fly high and achieve.

I didn't have any of that and I was jealous. All the times I used to pick on you, make fun, I wish I could take those back. Although it was such a very long time ago now, I need you to accept my apology, I need you to understand that I was wrong. I know you've always doubted yourself since then, my words gave you your insecurity, your worrying that people might not like you.

Chelle I didn't mean it. You're the strongest, bravest most courageous woman I know.

 _Well, I don't know if I believe that's true_  
 _But I know I'm who I am today_  
 _Because I knew you._

You taught me right from wrong, you taught me to accept when I am wrong and that's something we all know doesn't come often! You taught me to fight, not to give up or give in to the words of those who beat me down.

If we hadn't met that day, if you hadn't seen how broken I was inside I wouldn't be me. I'd be lost in a world of empty dreams, empty bottles, I'd be an empty existence.

You saved me the day you saw the real me. The day I first cracked in front of you. The day we sat on your bed and you held me whilst I cried. I'll never forget the way your arms cradled me, like a mother. You showed me more care than any other person had. You understood and listened to me. You made me believe I had a chance, a hope of a brighter future.

 _Who can say if I've been changed for the better_  
 _But because I knew you._  
 _I have been changed for good_

We've shared the good times and the bad times together Chelle. We've shared the loss of two very special men who helped and guided us through. Men who without, I didn't think I could live. Men who I depended on and loved. But you were there, we shared those heartbreaks but you helped to mend my heart. You helped me piece back together my life and look for a brighter day.

 _It well may be_  
 _That we will never meet again_  
 _In this lifetime._

Chelle, barely a day has gone by in the last 10 years where you haven't been around the corner from me, where we haven't finished off the week with a bottle of red and a gossip, where you haven't been on tap for any crisis, where you haven't been just a few minutes away.

But all that's about to change. Now you're going to be at the other end of the country, now you're a phone call away when I need you, now I won't have your arm to lead me home after one too many.

Just because I'm all those hours away it doesn't mean you're any less to me. You're still my best friend, my confident, the sister I never had.

Although your life may move on, so may mine, the impact you have had on me over my lifetime will never change. You've taught me to be invincible even when I'm breaking.

I don't know what I'll do without our daily bitching sessions. A natter with you is all I need when I'm having a bad moment.

 _And now whatever way our stories end_  
 _I know you have rewritten mine_  
 _By being my friend._

You've helped me to see the light on so many more occasions than I dare to think of. With you around I'd have failed long ago, I'd never have made it to today, I'd be long gone by now.

But you've seen my weak moments. You can see when I'm falling and no matter what you're always there to catch me, to save me. You sat by my side as I've said goodbye to my lovers, you've held me close as I weeped for my baby, you've held my hand and watched me marry Nick, the love of my life.

The night before the wedding we stayed together, we were chatting all night about where things had gone wrong before and where I was going to make sure things went right this time.

So many people over the years have deserted me. Walked away when it all went wrong, when I pressed self-destruct and pushed them away. Except you. In all of those years you've been by my side constantly, we've had our disagreements but we've always had each other.

 _And just to clear the air_  
 _I ask forgiveness_  
 _For the things I've done,_  
 _You blame me for._

I know I've done wrong. We've both done wrong. Said things we shouldn't, done things we wouldn't again, lashed out in ways we couldn't repeat.

But I hope now we can put the past behind us. Let nothing hold us back, look to the future and whatever it may hold as our lives turn new corners.

You've got an amazing future with Steve, behind that bar is where you belong and people would be lucky to have you organise their special days, god knows you've organised enough of mine!

You're rid of me now, you won't have to listen to me whining in your ear about the factory lot or what disaster I've got myself into next.

For now our lives have taken a different path but I know that this isn't the end of our friendship. This is merely the start of a new chapter.

Chelle I couldn't have done any of it without you, so you must know how much I love you and how I couldn't ask for a better best friend.

Chelle...

 _Because I knew you_  
 _I have been changed..._

 _For good._


End file.
